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Remembering the True Meaning of Love

We consider unconditional love the most ‘advanced’ or highest form of love.

I doubt this. The moment we speak of unconditional love, we have put our human filters of perception and limitation over love.

I find it confusing that we put an adjective before love. Love is love — why would it need a prefix? Either you feel the frequency of love in your heart, or you don’t. Love, by nature, can only be unconditional. If it is not unconditional, it is not love.

The human concept of unconditional love is a curse because it implies that there is also the opposite — conditional love.

Conditional love is sad and toxic because it does not accept and include everything of you and it does not love everything of you. It asks you to be different to who you naturally are because it comes with conditions under which you are lovable, or not. It brings with it the destructive conditioning that makes people change who they are, in order to be loved and to belong. It cultivates the idea that we are only lovable in certain contexts or circumstances, or that only certain parts of us are lovable.

To me, this sounds very questionable …! How is this love?

When love is conditional, we have put our human lens over and on top of love and the idea that we have to be a certain way and that not all of our humanity is lovable. This causes deep disconnection and trauma, and it is an illusion: nothing in life is ever perfect and our humanity includes everything — from jealousy and depression to being happy and caring, etc.

Conditional love was born through our concept of unconditional love, but it is not love. It shames us for the fullness of our humanity and this is painful and harmful.

Love is always just love. By definition, it includes everything, in full acceptance: the good, the bad and the ugly. Love always says “yes!” to everything that is.

Even if it is not pretty, even if it is not comfortable, even if it hurts, even if it sucks, love simply keeps saying “yes!” to all of life’s shades and expressions, whatever they may be — magical rainbows and blue skies, deadly tsunamis, viruses and horrendous thunderstorms.

Love can’t not love life! It is one and the same thing. Love does not know about ‘earning’ love. Love does not know conditions. Love does not know anything other than all-inclusive love and all-inclusive yes, in all circumstances. It can always only ever be love. Love cannot exclude. It cannot be conditional, or unconditional.

If love is conditional, it ceased to be love, simply because love does not know conditions, it only loves, without any opinion or reservation.

The word and energy of love can’t not be unconditional. So it does not need this adjective, because love, by nature, is always unconditional. If it is anything else, it is not love. As soon as we put this adjective, we get confused about what love is.

Love is Life in all its forms. Love is radical inclusivity. Love is what we are and everything we express is just another shade of love, including jealousy and anger. At the root of both, you will only find love.

The curse of unconditional love is the descriptive word in front of love. Through that, we kindle the idea that love can be anything other than Pure Love. As soon as I put a word in front of love, it minimises its power and dilutes its purity.